(no subject)
Jul. 7th, 2009 03:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alicebentleyMiddle of the night seems to be the only time I stop bouncing off walls long enough to post something here...
I haven't had one of these "wide awake at 1 am" sessions in a long time, but here it is past 3:30 and still no sign of sleepiness. No caffeine today either, so that's not it. Hodgepodge of distracting emotions is the most likely culprit, something I don't usually experience to say nothing of acknowledge.
Lessee... there's a bit of stress from the income side of things, and the twice weekly go-around of personal inferiority because I haven't been much of a contributor in the last five years, and a positive sinkhole in the last year. Sure, it's an investment in future earnings, but there's still another year to go, and the pinch is being felt now. AND there's the fact that all my fellow students are fully employed, so it's not like that's really an excuse.
There's the increasing desire to get to be better known to a number of the writers and artists whose work I follow so happily, and the realization that there just isn't a good mechanism for it. I don't have any stunningly original thoughts to contribute to the various message boards - and "I love what you do!" isn't much of a conversation starter. At least when I had the bookstore we could talk about sales options, but now I feel like some creepy stalker. I'm not even sure why I want to make these connections so much, but I do.
It does remind me that it's past time for me to assemble my annual Webcomics at ComiCon listing - that will be a fine way to fill out this sleepless morning. More here as I have it!
I haven't had one of these "wide awake at 1 am" sessions in a long time, but here it is past 3:30 and still no sign of sleepiness. No caffeine today either, so that's not it. Hodgepodge of distracting emotions is the most likely culprit, something I don't usually experience to say nothing of acknowledge.
Lessee... there's a bit of stress from the income side of things, and the twice weekly go-around of personal inferiority because I haven't been much of a contributor in the last five years, and a positive sinkhole in the last year. Sure, it's an investment in future earnings, but there's still another year to go, and the pinch is being felt now. AND there's the fact that all my fellow students are fully employed, so it's not like that's really an excuse.
There's the increasing desire to get to be better known to a number of the writers and artists whose work I follow so happily, and the realization that there just isn't a good mechanism for it. I don't have any stunningly original thoughts to contribute to the various message boards - and "I love what you do!" isn't much of a conversation starter. At least when I had the bookstore we could talk about sales options, but now I feel like some creepy stalker. I'm not even sure why I want to make these connections so much, but I do.
It does remind me that it's past time for me to assemble my annual Webcomics at ComiCon listing - that will be a fine way to fill out this sleepless morning. More here as I have it!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-07-07 04:44 pm (UTC)